Mentally struggling, dealing with childhood traumas, help needed to solve my anger issues and sucidal thoughts

I genuinely feel overwhelming.. I've no one to talk to even when I go to my boyfriend he's like you're so weak you cant even deal with these stuffs or give me a lecture on how he's handling things and I've messed up my own relation due to dealing with sucidal thoughts and mom and dad's divorce I've been constantly angry and pissed ive been constantly fighting